practical skills

Introduction

This project portfolio is a report of my extended project for my first year UAL Extended Diploma in Film and Television Production in the Media Pathway. The Practical Skills page of my portfolio presents my finalised product for my Final Major Project, whilst also detailing the production and post-production process of the project.

Final Major product

Attached below is my Final Major Product Script - 'The Ghost Train Murders'

Production Process

Script Experimentation - Draft Script 1

Now that I have conducted several research activities that have allowed me to learn more about the skills and techniques needed to create a script, I will now attempt to put these techniques to use when writing an experimental script of the opening of my film. I intend to include elements such as, whether the scene is set in an interior, or exterior setting, explains the location well enough to form a vision of the scene, and use newly found aspects such as Voice Overs and Dual Dialogues. I have included a copy of my first attempt below.

Upon reflecting on my first experimental draft script, there are several aspects that I feel I have been able to include and some other elements that I could work on to incorporate into my script and enhance its quality. Firstly, I feel that I was able to clearly set out where the scene was set in the opening line, 'INT. GHOST TRAIN RIDE - DREAMLAND THEME PARK',. This clearly sets out where the scene is taking place and now allows the script to be built around this, leading it into an explanation of the scenario, which I describe in the line, 'Tracking shot of overall darkness with a few coloured, flashing strobe lights. Excitable screaming and shouting can be heard all around.' This line gives some additional information about what is happening in the scene - it is important to include this information so that the Director and actors are aware of the situation when it comes to blocking and staging the scene. As seen in the following line, 'EXT. GHOST TRAIN RIDE – DREAMLAND THEME PARK - DAY', it is clear that the scene has now shifted to the outside and adds further information about the exact time of day. However, since this is the same scene, and ultimately the same shot, upon reflection, I should have added the 'CONT'D.' marker to this line to clearly represent that. This is an amendment that I will make in my second edit. Even though I didn't add the 'CONT'D.' marker to the setting line, I did use it in the descriptive paragraph underneath, which describes the developing action that is taking place in this scene. By doing this, it allows the action and the plot to move the narrative forward. The following section sees the first line of dialogue in the scene, where the characters name is in bold capitals, and the dialogue is all in lowercase. As I previously discovered in my research, it is important to capitalise the characters name to ensure that it stands out and to avoid any confusion as to which character is speaking. I also managed to include a moment where a scream could be heard off-screen where I was able to use the abbreviation, (O.S). However, if I were to use this technique with an actual line of dialogue, I would need to place the (O.S) next to the character name; for example, it would be written as RICHARD (O.S).

Another aspect that I was pleased to be able to include, was the voice over (V.O) technique, which I incorporated at the beginning of the script, with having the character of James speaking a line of dialogue over a shot of his dead body. This technique helps to amplify the ambience of this dramatic opening and allows the audience to understand that the narrative will follow the arc of uncovering the truth. I also made the creative decision to opt for a 'CUT TO:' instead of a 'FADE IN:' for the Title Card of the film after this moment of dialogue. I felt that this would be more apt for the situation as, along with a sound effect, it could represent the sharpness of being stabbed.

After completing my first draft script, I spoke with my lecturer who also gave me some advice as to how to structure my script going forward. They explained how they liked the idea of having the murder reveal as the opening of the film, however, felt that it could have been delayed more to build suspense. They suggested that I could perhaps wait until all other passengers had exited the ride, before having the camera pan around to reveal the knife to the chest. This is an interesting technique that could amplify the mystery genre of the film. Furthermore, I could choose to portray the other guests facial expressions first before the reveal to add even more suspense - it could also be at this moment that the silence stops as fearful shouts and screams are faded in. This is something that I will experiment with in my second draft script. My lecturer also explained that although the three friends attributes and personalities are being portrayed clearly, they found it difficult to understand fully how Max and Bob feel towards James - are they pleased for him or do they resent him? This is something that I will need to rework, particularly in terms of expressions and movements to give the viewer subtle hints about their feelings.

Furthermore, the voice over (V.O) technique is something that I am still keen to use more throughout the script. Perhaps I could eliminate the sounds of screams in the opening moments of realisation, with just the characters facial expressions used solely to represent the sheer horror that can be felt throughout the park. This scene could also metaphorically manipulate the contrasting pretend screams that can be heard on the Ghost Train, to the real screams when the guests see James dead body. This could be an interesting approach as it would allow the viewer to feel caught up in the moment and understand the horrific events. Furthermore, I had also hoped to include some lines of Dual Dialogue, however, wasn't able to find an appropriate moment to do this. This element could prove to be a useful tool when it comes to writing the interview scenes. After having reflected on this draft script, I will now go back to it and make any adjustments and edits needed to help improve the scene.

Script Experimentation - Draft Script 2

After completing my first draft script and gaining some feedback from my lecturer, I felt that I had now conducted a sufficient amount of reflection that I was able to begin on my second draft and make any necessary changes. There were a few key amendments that I particularly wanted to make to my second draft script, with some of these being; developing Max and Bobs attributes to clearly show their feelings towards James, and how I could build more suspense in the opening of the script. These were the two main points that I needed to focus on when writing this second draft script to ensure that I was implying any feedback notes where possible. I have attached a copy of my second draft script below. Due to the increasing length of my draft scripts, I thought it more beneficial to include a PDF version, whilst also including several screen grabs of specific points that I wish to discuss.

Second Draft Script PDF:

When reflecting on my second draft script, I feel that I have been able to achieve my original aims and amendments that I intended to include, however, there is still space for development and further adjustments. Firstly, when it came to amplifying Max and Bobs reactions and feelings towards James, I feel that I was clearly able to identify this in my writing. When re-reading my first draft script, there were several lines of action that I felt could have been developed further to reveal more about each characters emotions. I have included some of these below, with both the first draft and second draft versions.

Draft 1

Draft 2

Before discussing the changes that I have made, it is important to note the different formats of each script. When talking with my lecturer, they pointed out that I needed to ensure that I was using the correct 'Screenplay' template to make sure that my script was to an industry standard - this is an adjustment that I have made when writing my second draft.

When looking at the literature differences, it is clear that I have been able to add a further line of action to reveal more about the characters personality. I felt it important not to reveal everything at once about a character, as I want the script to represent their journeys, revealing more about each character as the film progresses. However, adding to the original line, 'Cont.d tracking shot of friends walking through park. At various points, BOB can be seen trailing away from the group, distracted by objects such as maps, the animal themed bins, and bubbles', I have further included the line, 'MAX leads the group, walking just ahead of the other two.' Without overexaggerating his actions, this subtle hint in the beginning section of the script allows the viewer to begin to understand his confidence and desire to lead the group. As the script progresses, Max's confidence will need to become even more prominent and will need to show a clear build up to mould him into a possible suspect for the murder. This is something that I will continue to develop, adding more details to his character throughout the script.

Draft 1

Draft 2

Delving further into my script comparisons, I have been able to add an additional line of action in-between two lines of dialogue in order to reveal some further information. I felt that this part of the script was an appropriate moment to reveal how Max was feeling. In my first draft script, it was unclear as to how Max felt towards James comment, and that was only expressed through his following line of dialogue. However, by adding the line of action, 'MAX rolls his eyes, as if to imply that he has heard it all before', it gives the viewer further information about how Max is feeling in that situation. If I had left the line of action at, 'MAX rolls his eyes', that would have given an action for the actor to portray, however, by also including the line, 'as if to imply that he has heard it all before', it reveals further information as to why he is doing that action, whilst also prompting the actor to perform the action in a certain way.

Draft 1

Draft 2

I continued to add further lines of action to represent the characters feelings during this heated moment of conflict between Max and James. Similarly to the previous adjustment, these lines of dialogue that I had written in my first draft script were not accompanied by many lines of action to explain what was taking place in the scene. I made adjustments to this when adding the line of action, 'JAMES looks confused, then dismisses his comment' under the line of dialogue where Max makes a comment suggesting that James should have stayed at work if he loved it that much. By adding the line of action underneath this, it explains how James feels about what Max has just said about him. Also, the part where James 'dismisses his comment', paired with his confusion, shows that he is oblivious to Max's resentment towards him. This would make the viewer weary of Max's intentions, and when James is murdered, will place him as the prime suspect in the eyes of the viewer.

Furthermore, this point is exaggerated in the following line of action, 'MAX goes to delete the photo, hesitates, decides against it and smiles. He has a revengeful look in his eyes'. In my first draft script, I did not include the line, 'He has a revengeful look in his eyes'. I felt that, by including this, it revealed more about why Max is smiling and has decided against deleting the photograph - he wants James to loosen up and not to feel so worried about work. By leaving the photo online, he hopes that it will teach James that nothing bad could come of it, however, in the viewers opinion, this would just reinforce the idea that Max feels revengeful.

After reworking my draft script so that the characters attributes and feelings were clearer to the viewer, I also gained feedback from my lecturer who suggested I take another look at the first page of my script. I have included a copy of both my first draft script and second draft script above. In terms of my first draft script, my lecturer had suggested that I could perhaps rework the opening of the film so that the reveal of the murder was slightly more delayed. Upon reflection, I felt that it would be more impactful to have James's voice over as the first line of dialogue in the film, instead of Richard speaking the line, 'Oh My God.' I felt that this line implied to the viewer what has happened, before the big reveal of James's dead body. By removing this line, it keeps the viewer in suspense right up until the moment that James's body is seen, providing a shocking and unexpected moment for the audience.

Furthermore, in the original draft script, I stated that 'a scream can be heard as a close-up tracking shot moves away to reveal the victim', however, I felt that it would perhaps appear unrealistic to have one person screaming, instead of choral screams. Therefore, I decided to rework this line into, 'screams can be heard slowly fading in as a close-up tracking shot moves away from the victims ‘dead eyes’ as if to blend in with all of the other shocked faces, to reveal the victim'. I thought that the idea that the screams were slowly faded in, added to the eeriness of the moment, and would provide an immediate chilling feeling for the viewer. Also, I added further detail about the victim when describing James as having 'dead eyes'.

Finally, I was able to keep the voice over element when writing James's opening line of dialogue, and this is a technique that I hope to include more of throughout my script, along with the off screen (O.S) element.

Script Experimentation - Draft Script 3

After making some adjustments to my work in my second draft script, I now wanted to refocus my attention on including comedy in my script. In many cases of script writing, it is important to create a balance of funny writing and funny portrayal in order for the comedy to be conveyed successfully on screen. Personally, when writing comedy, I prefer to write comedic situations, instead of funny jokes, therefore, this project seemed suited to my style of writing as I felt that both genres of comedy and murder could be combined to create an enjoyable script. I have detailed below a few moments where I have attempted to include comedy within my script.

Third Draft Script PDF:

In this section of my script, the ride operator, Richard, is first introduced. He is an overly happy and pleasant man, which contrasts well with James's tiredness and nervousness in this scene. In this part of the script, it is clear to both the viewers, and the characters, that James does not want to ride the Ghost Train, therefore, Richards care-free persuasions make the scene even more funnier. In his line, 'of course, you could always put it in one of the lockers just down there', the element of comedy is introduced - James is clearly volunteering himself to hold the bags, however, Richard just assumes that he would like to go on the ride, when actually, he doesn't. Whilst this is a funny exchange between the characters, it also acts as a dark plot point for the script as a whole - if Richard hadn't have suggested the lockers, James would not have gone on the ride, preventing his death. This would cast guilt upon Richard, Max and Bob later on in the script, after the murder takes place.

As the script continues, and the character of Dorothy is introduced, the comedy genre is able to progress. Dorothy is presented as a classic elderly lady, who loves to stop and chat to everyone she meets. During her lengthy interaction with Richard when boarding the ride, it is made clear that all of the other characters start to become irritated and impatient when Dorothy does not stop talking and is holding up the ride. The line of action, 'DIANE is stood next to her, eyes rolled', it is clear that Diane, Dorothy's daughter, is used to her mothers ways, knows how long she can talk for, and her tendency to go off on a tangent. When reflecting on this, I will attempt to prolong the interaction between Richard and Dorothy so that the comedy genre is stretched all the way to the limit. This will also prove funny when Dorothy eventually gets onto the ride, only for the Ghost Train to break down.

As previously mentioned, the scene where the Ghost Train breaks down also acts as a comedic moment, especially after Richard and Dorothy's lengthy discussion. Notably, many of these comedic situations only appear funny to the viewer and not the characters on screen. When going forward in writing comedy in my scripts, I will focus on how funny scenarios could occur from a characters expense. The build up of comedy in this part of the script is essential to the narrative due to the imminent murder that will take place in the following scenes. This will allow the genre to dramatically shift during the emotional scenes where James is revealed as dead. I do however, plan to write another comedic scene just before the murder takes place, when the Ghost Train breaks downs and Richard is required to fix it.

Script Experimentation - Draft Script 4

Fourth Draft Script PDF:

Upon reflecting on my fourth draft script, I now feel that I have been able to write and edit the majority of the script. I have now been able to write a clear beginning, middle and end for the plot of my script, and felt that I have been able to capture my characters personalities and infiltrate that into the dialogue. However, the main element of my script that still requires work is the formatting. Having attempted to use the ‘Screenplay’ template on Word, I was unable to format the script up to the industry standard. Having spoken with my lecturers, they suggested that I attempted to use the formatting software, ‘Celltx’, which allows you to copy and paste your script, and format it accordingly. This is something that I will work on so that my script is correctly formatted for my final major product.

Furthermore, in terms of the techniques that I have been able to use in my script, I feel that I have been able to use several dual lines of dialogue, a skill that I had learnt through my research, and include detailed lines of action that makes the plot easy to imagine. However, I am still keen to include more voice over and off-screen lines of dialogue. This is an adjustment that I will make in my final draft. When discussing this with my lecturer, they suggested that it might be interesting to continue James voice overs throughout the entire script, as if to represent the journey of uncovering his murderer. I feel that this would be an interesting technique, keeping the viewer engaged, whilst also being able to understand James’s view as the situation after his death unfolds.

In addition to this, my lecturer also suggested that I could make some changes to the ‘flashback’ scene which reminded the viewer of the beginning of the script, moments before James makes the decision to board the ride. When discussing this with my lecturer, they said that they felt this flashback was not needed, and that she was already aware of what happens at the beginning, due to the dramatic opening. Instead, she suggested that it might be interesting to see a flashback of James as a young child to give an insight to his background, informing the viewer why he is scared of going on the ride. This flashback does not have to carry any particular narrative or anecdote, but gives the viewer just enough information to understand his fears. I agreed with my lecturer on this, and made the relevant changes as I feel this will give the viewer a greater understanding of his feelings.

Moving on from this, my lecturer also spoke about how they felt the character, Richard, was underdeveloped. As I was writing my first few drafts, I had felt the same way, and thought that something more could be added to his personality. Originally, there was no real connection between James and Richard, making him an unlikely suspect for the murder. My lecturer reminded me that it is absolutely essential to create a link between the two characters, so that he could be seen as a possible suspect with a motive. This would give the audience another person to consider when they tried to work out the murderer. When rewriting the part of the script when the ride breaks down for the second time, I decided to make it known that Richard was in fact the brother of James’ boss. This created a link between the characters, however, I needed to make sure that the dialogue also reinforced Richard’s motive. Through the use of the threatening line, ‘Watch your back’, this makes the viewer think that Richard is planning to do something to James. Even though we eventually realise he has nothing to do with the murder, it provides a major plot point for the viewer, and will throw them off their course.

I am very grateful for my lecturers feedback, and it has reminded me of the importance of having others continuously review your work. Moving forward from this, I will make any final changes and adjustments to my script, and attach my Final Major Product Script at the top of the Practical Skills section of my portfolio.